Literary Arts

Songwriters’ Exchange with Jason & Jess – Replay from June 18, 2024

Jess Baldissero is not only a good friend, she is one of my favorite songwriters. I was honored that she sat with me earlier in the week to discuss the discoveries and accidents of the creative process. We shared some laughs, talked about good times and hard times and we each played a few songs.     Audio and Video Audio Only Getting to Know Trees knowingtrees.com · Songwriters' Exchange with Jason McInnes and Jess Baldissero Three tracks from The Hermit, my debut solo album are streaming during the pre-order period. The full album will be released June 28, 2024 on Bandcamp. http://joybird.bandcamp.comPick up Jess’s music, featuring her band Joybird, at Bandcamp also. 

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Don’t Know What to Play? Put Your Worry Away and Try Dreaming

Musical Dreaming – it’s a practice that I took part in, but had never really considered until some great chats with my old friend John Donahue. I think about John and his musical dreaming a lot when I meet with frustrated students.  https://vimeo.com/949795666?share=copy Dreaming with Your Guitar .pdf They wanted to play more. They’re just too busy. They’re frustrated with the pace of their progress. They’re overwhelmed and don’t know what to practice. I get it. I feel that way about music all the time. Thankfully, I’ve developed some strategies to get me out of such a funk and this is one of them. Next time you don’t know what to play, or are bored or frustrated with the same old songs, try some dreaming.  The video is the best description I can make of this process.  I’ve also made a .pdf that has some drawings that can be useful, but there’s very little instruction on it. I hope you find this useful.

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Guest Post – John Mead Teaches the Guitar Solo from Dead Flowers by The Rolling Stones

“This is a great solo to start on—it’s simple, clear, and articulate; it will teach you how to hear clear phrases and how to hear bends (which make up a significant part of the solo). It will teach you a couple of fairly sophisticated ideas while being very simple and satisfying to play.” John Mead We’ve been working on Dead Flowers in some recent Guitar Crew meetups and recently a student asked “Do you know how to play the guitar solo?” I thought, I don’t but I know EXACTLY who does. Check out this killer lesson from one of my very closest friends, and a truly gifted educator, John Mead. Sure missing hanging out with this guy! Download the pdf. You’ll notice that John makes the point that, “THERE IS NO SUCH THING as a ‘pentatonic major scale.’ Now, if you know me and my teaching, you’ll know that soloing with the major pentatonic scale is a core skill of  my introductory improvising lessons. Ha!But, I totally get where he’s coming from and there’s a lot of truth to it. If you’ve had those introductory lessons from my, I highly recommend digging into this lesson to put some of those concepts into practice and to take you’re playing to a new space.   John is an incredible teacher, player and music philospher. Give him a shout if you’re looking to turn up your guitar playing. John’s there to help you make that happen. Contact John

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Grae McCullough with Lynda Miller holding up their book

Grace McCullough Reads for Bosque Press ABQ inPrint #7

It was standing room only at Books on the Bosque yesterday for the launch of Bosque Press‘ ABQ inPrint #7. Grace was one of about 15 writers who read part or all of their piece which is published in this years’ edition. She wrote about meeting famed Chicago muralist Hector Duerte. The piece which she speaks about, Corazón Remendado (Stitched Heart), can be seen here. Thank you to everyone at Bosque Press and Books on the Bosque for creating such a welcoming, inspiring event.

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“Let’s start something loud! Can you hear it?” – Cherishing the Music We Made with It’s a Girl

. . . standing backstage at our album release show and hearing the sold-out crowd stomping and chanting,

“It’s a Gril! It’s a Girl! It’s a Girl!”

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Practicing Greyscales cover

Revisiting My “Practicing Greyscales” Sketchbook

I stepped up to the paper and realized, almost immediately, that I did not have control of the necessary skills to complete the piece as I wanted. I could understand the process intellectually, but it wasn’t going to come out of my pen without more practice.

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The bulldog Toro sleeps while Maria sings and plays guitar.

Can I Sing You to Sleep? – Maria McCullough Shares a Sweet Moment with a Dear Companion

The sweet moments in this video took place on June 5, 2021. Toro was one of my dearest companions and rest teachers. Can I sing you to Sleep? was inspired by and written in a workshop guided by Octavia Raheem. Amongst all the layers in the world that might have you feel and do otherwise… May you feel loved. May you find rest. May you experience moments of ease. May you sing. Maria McCullough (she/they) loves to share and explore with others through music, movement, laughter, love and rest. Maria is grateful to be living on Tiwa Land/Tewa land in so-called Albuquerque, NM and is at the beginning of a relationship-building journey with the land and beings here.You can contact Maria and learn more about her offerings here.

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Title card for "A Soft Place to Land" by Kevin Burrows.

Landing Softly

It’s been three years since I left my home of the previous 25 years and drove this Uhaul trailer into the great unknown. During that time, as I laid my head down on my pillow, I heard the roaring wind and crashing waves on the Lake Superior coast and the sand-filled gales and coyotes howl in the foothills of the Chihuahuan Desert. The winds of change have been heaving me along the highway for a long time. Now, it’s time to settle back down. A few weeks ago I was packing up another Uhaul to make a move which I know would bring me to a lull in the vigorous wind gusts. My friend, Kevin Burrows, wrote a short piece on social media which summed up exactly how I am feeling, as the winds die down and I settle into my new home. I am honored that he agreed to allow me to share it with you. Where have you been blown from? Where did you get blown to? Did you find a soft place to land?

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Artist Statement for June 2022 Exhibition

I have been invited to show several pieces at the upcoming exhibition, Water Worlds, An Exhibition Exploring the Essence of Water (details follow). It’s the first time that I will have multiple pieces at a show, which is very exciting. I was asked to provide an artist statement to accompany the work. It’s been a long time since I’ve written an artist statement and I’ve never written one based on my visual art. I’m very happy with my final statement. Here it is. Thank you for reading. Jason McInnes Artist Statement Spring 2022 Gather sustaining provisions. Reinforce the tunnel walls.  Chip away the stone, blow by blow. I work like a miner pursuing a vein of gold; the precarious notion that, through the mastery of materials, I become the master of my own existence. I was built, broken and rebuilt in the midwest of the United States, although I now reside in New Mexico. I am a music-centric teaching artist by vocation.  I build systems of learning in my visual and music-based artmaking, which I use to fortify my resolve to “be here now”.  I am drawn to uncomplicated mark making materials. I gravitate toward simple tools like pencils, charcoal and erasers because they are readily available. I dig for universal truths in the tip of a common ballpoint pen. I work alongside the sun; freeing it to develop its greyscale along with me. I choose media that can easily fit in a backpack, be pulled from a pocket on a walk through the desert foothills, or can be worked with in limited studio space.  A mixture of celestial light and human-made light, like street lamps and illuminated signage, dependably grab attention. So does the crisp edge of a line of mesquite trees cutting into a blue sky. My work reflects these relationships as a way to offer reverence to the cosmos as well as serving as a path to keep nourished and grounded.  Water Worlds, An Exhibition Exploring the Essence of Water, Opening Night Reception Exhibition – Friday, June 10 through Sunday, June 26 Opening Night Reception – Friday, June 10 – 4:00 – 6:30 The Anchor Building at Trader Todd’s Marina, 24030 Jefferson, Saint Clair Shores MI 48080 This exhibition is made possible with the cooperation of KB Studios, Chicago IL and is curated by artist and educator Kaye Buchman. This show demonstrates various artists’ interest in honoring and preserving our most precious resource – water. A portion of proceeds from the sale of work will go to the Alliance for the Great Lakes. The show will open on June 10 and run through June 30.Featured Artists are:Jason McInnesMary RidleyMary GombergSusan GamermanKatharine HathawayKathleen MaltesePhyllis RabineauSue TellerJanet WishinskyJoan BaerVirginia CarstarphenKay Buchman

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“Did you draw those yourself?”

I’ve been looking into some of my limiting beliefs about both my ability to create art and about how we all create art in general. This memory – a mix of good and bad feelings – is prominent enough that I think about it often. In the 3rd grade I read a book called Dominic, by William Steig. I don’t remember much about it, except that I really, really liked it.  Turns out, it’s a book about a dog who kind of hits the road. That the book resonated so much is interesting in and of itself, considering how my life has taken shape. We made diorama for the book we were reading.  It was during this process that my dad showed me how I could draw a graph over a drawing and then draw the same graph on another piece of paper and use it to copy the original.   I drew a bunch of the books’ characters that way and handed in my diorama. I was thrilled that I could replicate the characters in a way that made the diorama look like a pop-up version of the book. I remember very strongly that the teacher asked, “Did you draw those yourself?”  I remember that she seemed skeptical when I answered yes; like she thought I was lying. I don’t want this to be the story of an evil adult squashing my creativity.  I liked this teacher, and she liked me. Looking back, I assume she was surprised at what I had made because I had probably never made something that looked like that before.   Why does this memory, of all the moments, stick so strongly in my mind? It’s strong enough that I’ve thought about it many, many times over 35 years. This memory has affected choices I’ve made a beliefs I have about what tools I am “allowed” to use when I create art and how much I can say that a piece of work is mine. That, “Yes, I made this.” How will this story change now that I’ve brought it out into the light?

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How to Play Twinkle on your Harmonica Zine

Here is the zine for How to play Twinkle Twinkle Little Star on your Harmonica. Also, this zine contains a very fun song about everyone’s favorite snack, a Juice Box! You can learn the Juice Box song here. And, here is a video that will show you how to fold your zine, once it’s printed. How to Fold a Zine with Jason

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Básquetbol en el Barrio – Theme Song for Basketball in the Barrio Camp

Every year I teach the Music Station at an incredible sports/art/music/community-building camp called Basketball in the Barrio, in Segundo Barrio, El Paso, Texas. We couldn’t hold the camp in 2020, so Coach Denisse Franco and I wrote a theme song which, hopefully, we’ll all be able to sing for camp in 2021. Give it a listen and we’ll sing it at camp next year!

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The Sticker Method: Creating a Habit of Practice

This fall I published my latest zine, The Sticker Method: Creating a Habit of Practice (available in the store). This is a method for taking a lot of the stress that can come with being a learner/do-er out of our lives. I’ve developed the method over my lifetime as both a teacher and a student I am a user of The Sticker Method and one of my favorite aspects of it is that the method can be used for anything. If you’ve heard my music, seen my drawings, watched my skateboard videos, or if we’ve talked about developing a habit of going to the gym, then you’ve seen The Sticker Method in action. What are you going to practice? I’d love to know. 

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On Practicing – Sept. 2020

I’ve been playing guitar for a long time. And, I teach a lot of guitar players that haven’t played for very long (comparatively). Learning to play is a lot of work, and for the most part it’s very solitary work, so “the public” only sees the “finished” product. As a teacher, I can tell that it is difficult for students (especially adult students) to believe that I have had, and continue to have, all those same challenges that they have. I’m not special, I’ve just been doing it for a long time. The work isn’t any easier, I just know how to do the work. Here is a short excerpt of a tune I recently wrote. It has a part right in the middle where my fingers need to make a move that they are not familiar with. Now it’s time for me to take my own advice! Slow down. Play with intention. Don’t let your habit take over because your habit doesn’t know it. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve played this very short section over the past couple days. Finally, it’s starting to come together. It’s taken a lot of work. The work is the thing to do.

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Amigos de Basketball en el Barrio – New Song

We can’t have camp this year because of the pandemic. So, Coach Denisse Franco and I wrote a little song to share with the campers. Today, in Segundo Barrio, El Paso TX, some of the coaches will be distributing care packages with books, sports equipment and a zine with this song. It’s called Amigos de Basketball en el Barrio. Since 2016 I’ve been the music director at the best summer camp. It’s called Basketball in the Barrio and it is the most amazing sports, literacy, health and fitness, music, poetry, social justice, visual art camp you’ll ever experience. I wrote the tune and made the zine. Coach Denisse wrote the lyrics. I think you’ll agree that they are very fitting for this challenging time in our society. Here are the lyrics. Download a zine to help you learn the song here. A recording of me singing and playing the song is after the lyrics. Pronto jugaremos, sí. Yo te cuido y tú a mí. – Coach Denisse En Español Escribiendo, saltando, comiendo, Y canciones componiendo, Disfruto lo que aprendí, Todo lo que compartí. Aunque no esté en Armijo, Aún tengo a mis amigos, Basketball en el Barrio, Basketball en el Barrio. Hasta volvernos a ver, Cuídate y que estés bien, Pronto jugaremos, sí, Yo te cuido y tú a mí. Aunque no esté en Armijo, Aún tengo a mis amigos, Basketball en el Barrio, Basketball en el Barrio. In English Writing, jumping, eating – yum! Making songs is so much fun, I enjoy what I have learned, All the moments that we shared. Though I’m not in Armijo I still have my amigos Basketball in the Barrio Basketball in the Barrio Until we can meet again, Hope you’re well, take care my friend, Soon we’ll play, oh yes, indeed, I’ll care for you as you for me Though I’m not in Armijo I still have my amigos Basketball in the Barrio Basketball in the Barrio

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Cheers to the Sound Engineers!

I spent the day working on “social distance sound”; both my own and others’. I run in a community of educators and teachers who, like many people in the country, have been thrown into a world of having to have what amounts to a television studio in their apartments. We’re all grabbing all the equipment we’ve gathered over the years and we’re trying to make a go of it as best as we can. It’s been a couple weeks of experimenting with mic placement, charging and recharging our phones, moving lamps around our apartments, turning off radiators and covering windows with bedsheets to gain some control of the audio and visual of online music education and concerts. All this work has got my mind on all of the sound engineers that I’ve worked with over the years, including one in particular; my friend Dave Unger. About four years into our journey, the Young Stracke All-Stars (my youth folk band) was really cookin’ and we started to get some high profile gigs. And the people that were asking us to play, wanted to hear our music! We’d spent four years cutting our teeth playing small venues like the Lincoln Restaurant where we didn’t need amplification. But, with the introduction of better gigs came the need to use a sound system properly. With that in mind the great Chicago sound engineer ,Dave Unger, to lend us a hand. I made a vocabulary list (with a crossword puzzle!) and some drawings, the band invited some friends and Dave spent the afternoon helping us understand how mics, amplifiers and mixing boards work. It was a very fruitful day! Over the next 7 years of the band’s travels we never had another proper Live Sound workshop, the band members who received this training were able to train the following generation. And those members were able to pass it along to the next members and on we went! So, I write all of this just to say cheers to Dave and cheers to all the sound engineers who also got the rug pulled out from under them in this challenging situation. Us musicians already knew that you had a big job and a lot of expertise and now it’s even more clear. We’re stuck at home without you, and our sound suffers for it. I think I can speak for pretty much every musician I know when I say that we’ll all be too happy to put some of this work back in your capable hands.

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Why do you play video games? Why do you play music? Why make art?

Why do you play video games? Make music? Draw pictures?
Is it Skill and Achievement? Social? Money? Role playing?

Reflecting on a recent episode of Imaginary Worlds.

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How I Learn Old Time Tunes – Learning to Play the Tune, Nancy, from a Recording by Jonas Friddle

For someone who is relatively new at playing music, learning a new tune, or a bunch of new tunes can be overwhelming. Because of this, I thought I would share my process for learning tunes. Maybe you’ll find it helpful to see how I do it. In this video I learn the tune Nancy on my harmonica. I learn an arrangement from my good friend, Jonas Friddle. I highly recommend checking out more of his music at jonasfriddle.com Enter your email address here to receive a free .pdf that accompanies this video essay.

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Juice Box – A Harmonica Song for Youth Musicians – Notation Download a Audio Recording

Hi everyone, Today I’m teaching my first workshop as part of Winter Roots Festival in Marquette, MI.  In honor of this big day I wrote a new song for you to learn on your harmonica!  It’s called Juice Box and it’s all about everyone’s favorite drink . . . a juice box! Here is some recordings of me singing and playing the song. The first recording is just the harmonica part.  The second is my harmonica, my guitar and my voice. You can download a FREE .pdf of the notation of this song.  Print it double-sided an cut the paper along the dotted line to make your own zine!  The zine also has the notation to another favorite song, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.  

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Snowy Day – A Song for Young Musicians – Video and Zine

Recently, it was a very snowy morning here in Marquette, MI.  I was waiting for some of my students to have their lesson and I wrote this song. I made a video of me playing the song, and there is a .pdf of a zine that you can print out to help you learn it.  Print it double-sided and then follow the instructions to make the zine! The zine contains the lyrics, standard music notation, and specialized notation for harmonica, guitar and ‘ukulele.  I was wondering, what would happen if we changed the lyrics from “snowy day” to “cloudy day” or “sunny day”.  What changes would you make in the rest of the lyrics so that the song is about your day? Download the Snowy Day Zine here. Be sure to print it double sided and then watch the short video below to learn how to fold your zine. Thanks to Ore Dock Brewing Company for letting me use their beautiful community space to make some music.

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Evening Session at Fargo Skateboarding

[vimeo 387363157 w=640 h=360] Fargo Skateboarding January 2020 from Jason McInnes on Vimeo.   It was a packed session tonight at Fargo Skateboarding. These photos are from later in the evening when it was starting to slow down. Something interesting happened that I wasn’t anticipating. Because I was so full I had to make the most of my opportunities. When I went to drop in for the first time (my first drop in since spring 2019), I just had to do it. I didn’t have time to talk myself out of it. I found that I could just GO and I didn’t need to psych myself up nearly as much. Cool! This was my first long session since I broke my elbow. It felt a little strange to be the only one in full protective gear, but I’ve decided that I’d rather look a little out of character and be safe, than look cool and either break something, or be too nervous to really skate. Last year I dropped in 100 times, which was a big accomplishment because I was so scared. Today, I dropped in countless times, and I think I can kind of do it now, at least on the medium size half pipe. Still trying to get my kick turns to be more compact. I don’t have video of it, but I can feel that I kind of bail out of a full 180 turn when I’m going fast, and end up doing two 90 degree turns. Just got to keep working. Check out this video. I feel very accomplished! (It’s hilarious to watch the video because it seems so slow, but when it is happening, it is terrifyingly fast!) #workinprogress #workandprogress

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Tackling Marquette Mountain – First Snowboarding Lesson

Life has been so full of upheaval that I feel like I haven’t really been able to take advantage of the natural wonders I’m living among. I made an “artist date” with myself today to go snowboarding at Marquette Mountain. I’m REALLY missing skateboarding, and I figured that this might quench some of that thirst. It didn’t 🤷🏼‍♂️, but I still enjoyed the experience. I am super sore! The first pic is from the top of Tyro, the “bunny hill”, which kicked my butt all day. The clouds are the beautiful scenery you see when your backside smashes into snow that a moderate speed. It’s just that the snow is harder than it appears. Ouch! I’m going to feel that one for at least a week. Snowboarding is a more “all-around” physical activity than I had anticipated. It’s different than skiing because there are no poles to aid with keeping still and standing up after getting strapped into the board. My arms are exhausted from picking myself up from the ground, and my neck is sore from the two times I fell trying to figure out how to use the tow-rope. Hilarious! The video is at the end of a lesson that I took. It’s supposed to be an “S” curve, but dang, that is difficult to do. I did it earlier, I just need to practice. Then, I went to the bar for an après-snowboard of Two-Hearted Ale, which is on tap everywhere here. You could say I was relaxing, but really I was so exhausted I could barely get the money out of my wallet to pay for the beer. I could not move at all. You’ll notice . . . no coaster (why?). No photo of the bottle of ibuprofen I bought, or the salt water bath I took the second I got home. #workinprogress #workandprogress [vimeo 385110912 w=640 h=480]

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Stuff I Keep Track Of – Totals for 2019

I keep track of several things during the year.  Here are the final numbers.  A brief description of what these numbers mean and their relationship to last year follows. The Chalkboards I keep track of this stuff on a chalkboard.  In the past, I’ve used a HUGE chalkboard which took up most of one of the walls in my apartment.  Now, I’m couch surfing for the foreseeable future, so I’m using a much, much smaller chalkboard. About 50% of what is on the board is inspired by Being Boss and they’re Chalk Board Method and podcast.  Check it out. The Numbers Drawing Days* = 303 days = 83% of possible days (a 32% increase from last year) Workouts** = 170 days = 47% of possible days (4% decrease from last year) Skateboarding Days*** = 56 = 15% of possible days (First year of data collection) Some Background Drawing Days – This was a HUGE increase over last year.  The feels great.  In particular, I was pushed forward in the last quarter of the month by a former student who had a concert when he reached 1,000 straight days of practicing his violin.  I’m currently on 74 straight days of drawing. Workouts – This is the first thing I ever kept track of my workouts since November of 2014.  This year was really tough for two reasons; 1) I quit my job and moved out of state and 2) I broke my elbow in a skateboard accident. The job quitting and moving things threw me off my gameplan in a major way that I was not expecting.  I just didn’t have the mental energy to get myself to the gym.  There was one month were I didn’t go to the gym almost at all.  But, I needed to find a way to steady my mind.  So, I started counting meditation sessions as “workouts.”  This is not a solution that I want to maintain for the long-term, but in the short term, I’m satisfied with this solution. Another thing that made the workouts category interesting is that I broke my elbow on July 31.  My workouts, which we already in trouble, took a big hit with that.  I did go to physical therapy three times a week and I had about 12 exercises that I needed to do six times a day, so I did count each physical therapy day as a workout and each day I did my elbow exercises as a workout.  That really saved my totals in the fall. Skateboarding Days – I was already well behind in my skateboarding goals for the year, but the broken elbow REALLY destroyed my yearly total.  I’m only been back on the board 3 times since it happened. Now that I’ve moved to a part of the country with so much snow (Marquette, MI) I wonder how I can get those numbers back up.  There is a skate park here, but it’s covered by a 1 1/2 feet of snow at the moment and my understanding is that it will stay that way for the next three to four months.  I had an advantage in Chicago in that, while it may have been cold, in February I could usually find a tennis court or stretch of blacktop in Winnemac Park that didn’t have snow or ice on it.  In that way I could skate most of the winter. Goals for 2020 Drawing Days – I will be very disappointed if I don’t make it 365 days this year.  I have expanded the range of “drawing” a little bit.  I’ve decided to include painting and what I’m going to call “intentional photography”.  That is photos that I take during an intentional trip to make art.  Not photography that I happen to take while I am doing something else.  Those can be art, too, but I want to make a discussion between the two so I don’t get lazy. Goal – 365 days Worksout Days – I’m not sure what to do about this yet.  I no longer belong to a gym, which is disappointing, but I’m still too unsettled by this move.  Hoping to get back to a gym, soon.  I don’t NEED a gym, but I find it very helpful to stay motivated. Goal – 365 workouts with 100 of them needing me to go to a gym or some similar place Stakeboarding Days – this is trashed right now.  My board is in storage and there is no indoor skateboard less that an 6-hour drive away.  I’m not sure what to do about that. Goal – 24 days?  That’s one day a week, every week during the warm months.  I think that’s a good goal.     * Drawing day = any day that I draw.  It can be for as little as 30 seconds. ** Workout day = any day that I workout.  It can include meditation, physical therapy or yoga.  As little as 30 counts ***Skateboarding = any day that I get on the board.  Time at the gym working specifically on balance, on a balance board or the flat part of a half-Bosu Ball counts as a skateboarding day.  In that way, a workout day and a skateboarding day can be the result of the same activity.

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Learn to Play Auld Lang Syne for the New Year!

Here is a copy of my newest zine, How to Play Auld Lang Syne on Your Harmonica!  Auld Lang Syne is one of my very favorite songs.  I actually wish that it was socially acceptable to play it all year long. If you’d like to play it with me, I sure would love that. Print it double-sided so you can make this little booklet. And, here’s a video I made this morning during a snowstorm here in my new home, Marquette, MI.  That’s the ore dock that I recently wrote about on my instagram. [vimeo 382136048 w=640 h=360] I love Auld Lang Syne for many reasons, including it’s about spending time with friends, raising a glass to our good health, looking back on the year gone by, and it’s Scottish origin always makes me think of my grandpa, who was born in Scotland. If you learn to play it, please let me know!  And, drop me a note if you have any questions. Auld Lang Syne is a great song to share with friend and family.  I hope you enjoy playing it as much as I do. Happy new year!

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Some of Jason’s Thoughts about the Grateful Dead

The summer/fall of 2019 has been a time of great upheaval in my life.  I was glad to have a set of music together to help process these experiences. On Sept. 24, 2019, I presented a set of music by the songwriting duo of Jerry Garcia and Robert Hunter at the Grafton Pub, in Chicago, IL. This is a live recording of essay I read at the top of the show.  The text of the essay follows. [soundcloud url=”https://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/706146877″ params=”color=#ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&show_teaser=true&visual=true” width=”100%” height=”300″ iframe=”true” /]   Sept. 24, 2019 Some of Jason’s Thoughts about the Grateful Dead By Jason McInnes Hi everyone.  Thanks for coming out to the Grafton.  And thank you for to the Pickin’ Bubs for inviting me.  I am very honored to play for you. I’ve made a lot of music in this room.  I basically learned to play back here. And I bet that I’ve become friends with many of you back here. This set of songs is a bit of a musical essay for me.  It’s about a collection of songs, a group of musicians and some of the energy that brought me to this show.   First a recap.  If we do already know each other, you probably know that it’s been a wild few months for me.  Recently, I resigned from the Old Town School of Folk Music, ending a 17 year career there. Peggy invited me to play tonight as a sort of parting gig, because I figured I’d be moving out of Chicago.  That may still happen, but for now, I’m still here. What will the future bring? It’s hard to know.   Do I have to know?  Good question and it’s one that I’m trying to get to a clearer answer to, partially through the work of this very gig.  Robert Hunter wrote, “Recall the days still left to come.” So here I am, recalling the old days, hoping that their memory weaves a magic spell that conjures up some powerful new days.   Robert Hunter also wrote of a road.  “No simple highway.” I’m on the highway, I suppose.  And the path of that road is for my steps alone. But, while my steps are alone, I know that I am not alone.   Which brings me to another event that pulls us together tonight.  About two months ago, I fell off my skateboard on a literal path, as opposed to the metaphorical path, and ended up with a broken elbow.  I took about 6 weeks off from guitar playing and I’m not fully recovered. That is one of the reasons that you hear this wonderful backing band tonight.  They’re here to help me out.   Please make them feel welcome.  Lindsay Weinberg, Jonas Friddle, John Mead and Andrew Wilkins.    Back to my point at hand.  Physical and metaphysical metamorphosis.   I’ve had a lot of time to look back on life.  “How did I end up here? I didn’t even know this was a destination!”  The story of what has brought me here has many strands, but I want to focus on only one tonight.   I attended my first Grateful Dead concert on August 1, 1994.  Aug. 1 was Jerry’s birthday by chance. I did not enjoy the show.  “Why aren’t they playing any of the songs I know from the classic rock radio station?  What’s with the 20 minute drum solo in the middle of the set?” What was this I was listening to?   But I could tell that something was up, something I desperately wanted to be in on, but I just couldn’t grasp.  But I self-identiefied as a “classic rocker” and I was determined to enjoy the experience, so I went back again the next year.  Nope. Try as I might, I just didn’t get it.   Jerry died on August 9, 1995.  I was rolling dough and listening to the radio at Pretzel Time; my job at the mall.  WDET DJ Martin Bandyke broke the news and then the opening notes of Uncle John’s Band took flight.  I burst into tears. I really freaked me out!  Why did I start crying? Why did I care so much?  At this point, Jerry was far from being a hero of mine and, in fact, and I had just heard him play a few weeks back and didn’t particularly enjoy the experience.  What had happened to me? I was a little dazed for the rest of my shift and, when it was over, I walked over to the tape store at the mall. I bought a tape of the only Dead album they had; American Beauty.  I popped it into the car stereo on the way home, still very confused as to what had happened. Life went on.  I move to Chicago to attend a music conservatory.  Two weeks into my new life I freaked out and I dropped out of college.  I didn’t really play music for about 5 years, outside of noodling around in my bedroom; stumbling through a few tired classic rock riffs and the intos to Blackbird and Brown-Eyed Girl.  I did notice that I started to pick up the chords to some of those Dead tunes on American Beauty; a first memory of learning a song by ear. In the summer of 2001, through a combination of many people, coincidences and a feeling that a depression was taking over my life, I enrolled in classes at the Old Town School of Folk Music; my first music classes since I dropped out of college.  Class taught by this unkept guy Steve, with baggy jeans and a white pony tail. He talked about music more like a spiritual advisor than any music teacher I’d ever had. He gave us all these wild handouts, explaining the cosmic aspects of music theory and songs seemed to magically tumble from his fingertips at the mere mention of a title or theme.   I was only a couple weeks into class when, during a discussion, Steve mentioned the Grateful Dead song Tennessee Jed.  This time,

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A New Understanding of Fear

“If you go ahead, if you keep on running, wherever you run you will meet danger and evil, for it drives you, it chooses your way.  You must choose. You must seek what seeks you. You must hunt the hunter.” – Ogion the mage to Geb from Ursula Le Guin’s A Wizard of Earthsea I have a new understanding of fear.  A new fear of mortality. It’s happened because of a few aspects of my life have come together over the past month or so Last week I was in the hospital for a prolonged bout of atrial fibrillation (a-fib); a heart condition I’ve had since I was about 16.  I have grown up with a-fib and I thought I knew how to manage it.  I was wrong. Basically, for 28 hours, my heart was beating at a pace like I was jogging the whole time.  I spent two nights in the hospital which was a new experience for me. I’d like to never go back. Now, I’m living with the fact that I could have an a-fib episode at any moment, and that if it did happen again, it could lead to a stroke, or it could damage my heart to be beating that quickly for that long.  Maybe I would end up back in the hospital. [wpvideo qvf7zmHz] In addition, about a month ago I went to spend the weekend at Fargo Skate Park in De Kalb, IL. for what I called “Skateboard Immersion Camp.”  I had two days of nothing to do but skate for eight hours a day. I was pushing myself way past the limits of my ability and While I was doing that I crashed A LOT.  Over and over and over. [wpvideo 2G4MFKwD] It was what I was there to do. But then, after returning to Chicago, I kind of couldn’t skate for about a month. I had some busted up ribs. I was bloodied and bruised and my legs were weak from strained muscles that had never worked this hard.   That was in late April.  I just got back on the board this week. I got on my board for the first time and I immediately stepped off.  I was scared. I had never been scared this scared. This 9 months of learning to skateboard I’ve had some falls, but never like I did at Fargo Skate park.  And, before my time in the hospital I had no idea what it would be like in the hospital. I had an attitude of, “Well, if I have to go to the hospital, then that’s life.  I’ll manage.” Now, when I get on my board I think, “Now be careful.  You don’t want to end up with busted up ribs, struggling to breath, like you did after Fargo,” and “Be careful.  If you really hurt yourself you’re going back to the hospital. And you know what you think of that.” It’s fear of pain.  Fear of missing work.  Fear of hospital bills.  Fear of looking foolish; of seeming reckless.  Now I know about the pain; when it hurts to take a breath, sneeze or get up from bed.  I know about being in the hospital, connected to a million tubes, unable to go to the bathroom without asking someone to help me, lying there alone, too much energy to sleep, but too tired to do much of thing else.  I do not want to go back. The first time I got back on my board, I returned to the tennis court where I practice my drag stops and basic pushing, I actually had a small panic attack.  I couldn’t do it. My body was ready to skate but my mind wouldn’t allow it. I went home almost immediately. It’s been four days since I’ve gotten back on my board.  I broke down and bought some new pads and I’ve been wearing my helmet more.  I’ve gone to the skatepark three times. I’ve working on my ollie, my drag stop and my kick turn to fakie.  I bit it hard for the first time since Fargo today; crashing as I was practicing my drag stop. The hesitation I was hoping to lose over the spring has actually gained power, but I’d dedicated.  I want to skate this thing. I have a new fear.  I’m learning to hold it and be honest, “You are correct.  This is scary and things could go badly.” But, I’m not going to let that fear overtake me.  I’m going to learn to move past it. [wpvideo vIIEWGzc]  

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